Living in a broken world...

So I watched the Grammy's last night (or at least the part I tolerated before giving up and going to bed). I realized something while they were on, as well as in the hours after I turned them off and tried to sleep. My mind raced all night with thoughts like:

"What is this world coming to?"

"How do I raise a God-fearing child in a world like this?"
"When did things get so messed up?"

You see in the past few weeks I feel like horrible news surrounds us - both locally and globally. Random "road rage" shootings happening in my small rural county, mall shootings, school shootings, parents murdering their children, multiple meth labs being found in my area, human trafficking is all over the news lately, and then there is the ever looming threat of terrorist attacks... The list could continue for a very long time.  

I feel disgust when I think about it, but also I feel heartbroken. I feel angry. I feel scared.

But as I was contemplating all of these emotions, I suddenly heard that voice of peace. (Not an audible voice that woke me like a scene from a horror movie), but the still small sense of peace I get when I know God is trying to get my attention!

Of course I am going to have feelings of disgust toward the things of this world. The bible even warned me I would.

But the Scriptures declare that we are all prisoners of sin, so we receive God's promise of freedom only by believing in Jesus Christ.

Galations 3:22 NLT

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

1 John 2:15-17 NLT

I am not trying to say that the Grammy's are something you should stay away from. It's not my job to decide that for you. As you continue to develop a relationship with God, He will convict you of certain things that He doesn't want you to participate in, or watch, or listen to.  These things can be different for each of us. God knows us completely. He knows what may cause each of us to struggle. And those things can be different for each of us. So I encourage you to listen and pay attention to how and where He is directing you. 

This world is a sinful place and I was made with a desire for more! We all were! We were created with a desire for heaven! If I wasn't feeling disgust for the things of this world, what would that say about me? 

I think this is what God means when he warns us to be "in the world, but not of it!"  I have no choice but to live here. And I don't think God wants me to live in torment while I'm here. I can and should make a life for myself and I'm allowed to enjoy the things that God has placed into this world. But when ungodly things of this world become pleasurable to us, we need to take a step back and reevaluate our lives and our commitment to Christ! Because like the verse above states, "For when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you."  Friends, we cannot pick and choose which parts of the bible we live by.  If we really want to follow Christ, we need to strive daily to do as He has commanded us.

So ask yourself today, who are you truly desiring to serve?

Bucket Lists, Dreams, and More

I have never sat down and made an actual pen to paper "Bucket List" because I don't want to become so focused on getting the selfish things in my life, that I forget to remain open to God changing my dreams and aligning them to his!  In fact, many of these dreams are completely different than they were 5 years ago, because He has already changed me so much!

But I think it's important to document our dreams so that, among other reasons, we can look back later and see if and how we have changed over the years.

I thought it would be fun to list some of the things that I would absolutely love to be able to do or achieve over my lifetime (In no particular order)!  Some are realistic, some are very far-fetched, but all are close to my heart!

#1 - Buy a vintage camper and remodel it

I have to really work on my skills first, but I know I have it in me somewhere! I have such wonderful memories of camping with my family when I was a child. Don't get me wrong, I love a nice cruise or a beachfront hotel, but just thinking about taking Miah camping makes me nostalgic! I would love to find a cheap airstream camper and spend the next several months (or years) updating it to make it fit my family perfectly!!! Imagine vacations in something like this!! I just can't think about it and not smile!!

#2) Spend some time in Missions

I'm not talking about committing to a year long (or more) mission field. I have the utmost respect for people who do that, but it is not something that I have been called to pursue. But I would love to be in a financial position someday where I can go and spend a few weeks a year in some third world countries ministering to the locals, helping at an orphanage, etc.

#3) Remodel a Farm House and become more self-sufficient

I am combining a few dreams into one here, so bear with me.  

I desperately (Probably more than any other dream I have) want to be able to buy a farm house on a few acres that is in desperate need of some love! I want it to be cozy, not too large (who wants to clean something huge!?).  But large enough to entertain because it is one of the things I love to do! This is a small sample of the vision I have for my "someday" house.

 I picture the exterior to look like this (but without the fence in the front yard)!

A stellar front porch is a MUST! I have such wonderful memories of going to visit my grandparents and swinging on the front porch swing!  I can just picture how wonderful it would be to sit on a porch and watch the sun rise and set over the mountains in the distance.

I have always swooned over long dining room tables, but my current house only holds a small round table for 4.  I would love to be able to have big dinner parties with family and friends!

And lastly, I really want a fireplace in my next house, mainly because I have never been privileged enough to live in a place that has one!  There is something so warm and cozy about them (especially on days like today when my car thermostat read 0 degrees)!!

The next part of this multi-level dream would be to become more self-sufficient. I would like a large garden area on my property where I could grow the majority of my own food.

A few years ago, Jere and I had the privilege of going to spend a few days in North Carolina with a man who is the reason I am so inspired to have a garden! I may have this completely wrong, but if I remember right, he had around an acre of ground covered completely in the most incredible garden I have ever seen! We walked outside and picked fresh kale for our dinner, and I before I left, he let me pick a bag of the sweetest, most incredible blackberries I've ever had in my life! 

(P.S. - I'm waiting to see if he reads this and notices that I swiped the picture of the tomatoes from his Facebook page!!)

I don't know if I will ever get to the point of being able to manage such a large garden, but it's a goal to work toward. I wish so badly that I could do more gardening now (not because I enjoy it, but because I want to reap the benefits). I hope that with time I will begin to enjoy it more.  But for now, that dream will have to wait, because I have to put up with my microscopic townhouse backyard in a development infested with rabbits who destroy absolutely everything I plant.

And the last part of this dream is to be able to give my baby girl the farm she so strongly desires. My sweet (almost 5 year old) daughter does not walk anywhere... she gallops. She has to put her horse in the trailer hooked to the back of my car before we can go anywhere.  And there hasn't been a day that goes by in over a year that she hasn't asked me if we can move to a farm (And promised to clean all the horse poop)!  I am definitely not a farm girl... I do not like to get dirty or smell any of the smells that would come along with having a farm. But all of our visits to farms to let my little girl see the horses is slowly changing me. I will never own a big farm, but I would love to have a small mini horse or pony for her someday!

Look at these sweet things, who wouldn't love one of these!

The list of things I want to accomplish would go on forever (open my own real estate company, expand my business of refinishing furniture, expand our Alphamerican clothing line globally, etc etc etc) but instead of expanding on all of them, I'll stop there because I'm sure you are all tired of reading!!!

As much as I love dreaming, it is very important to make sure that my most important goal in life is to serve. That is what Christ has called me to do!  I having committed to living my life for the Lord and in doing so, I must give over control. But I still believe that having dreams and goals is a wonderful thing.  However, I must also remember that they cannot take over and become my main focus!  His plans always need to supersede mine!

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.

    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,    so my ways are higher than your ways    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

I'd love to hear about some of your dreams and things on your "Bucket List"!! Please comment below....

The Unexplainable

It's been a while, but I feel the need to blog today! Even as I start this, I don't have any idea what I am going to say. But I have learned that when the Spirit is nudging me to do something, I should do it! There are always blessings that we risk missing when we don't obey!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Life is hard somedays, who am I kidding... Life is hard MOST days!! Things don't turn out like we hoped. We live in a world broken by sin. It causes sickness, heartache, disappointment, insecurity, death, bankruptcy, etc... the list is truly limitless!  So how can we thrive and succeed in a world like this? Actually, forget thriving, most days we wonder how we can manage to survive today? Our country seems to be headed in a direction that is far from God and it's scary! Our economy is horrible, and most of us are just one missed paycheck away from losing everything!  How do we get past all of that and live a fulfilling, thriving life?

The situations in my life have forced me to evaluate this over the past few months. God has stretched me in painful, yet beautiful ways! Wait, "Painful and beautiful"...... How can that be? Life is complicated and therefore cannot be viewed or comprehended in one dimension. So what may appear painful and ugly on the surface can be a beautiful blessing if viewed from another angle.  

If we refuse to wallow in our circumstances and we decide to keep our eyes focused on Christ, we will see life in a whole different perspective. 

Let me give an example of what I mean:

For years I have dreamed of a new house. There's nothing wrong with mine.  It has met all my needs wonderfully for the past 8 years and never caused us any problems.  But by all worldly standards, its a "starter home". My husband and I bought it when we were 20, engaged, child-free, and it was more than I could have dreamed of then. But now is a different story.... it so easy to forget all of the good things about it and just see that it is a townhouse with no garage (which I particularly hate when I have to start my car at 4am in the freezing cold), no yard for my daughter and dog to play in, absolutely no storage, etc....

Every year as I decorate for Christmas, I can't help but hope that it will be my last year decorating that house!  I dream that I will someday have a house with a front porch I can decorate to the nines, a big staircase with a banister that has beautiful garland and Christmas lights sprawling down it, and a HUGE Christmas tree in my large 2-story foyer!!  Then I look around at my reality - a messy, cluttered house that I never have time to clean and that feels like it's about to burst at the seams. I shed a few tears and get angry that Jere and I both work so hard, and have sacrificed so much to follow the dream God has given us, and yet my dreams of a new house (and the free time to actually clean it) aren't anywhere close to being my reality.  

Or are they.... How do I really know what God has in store for me??? Let's be honest, I don't even know what He has planned for this afternoon..... so why do I place Him in a box and say that my dreams can't be reality! Now, I am not trying to say that God gives us every dream if we want it badly enough.... that's ridiculous! But the bible clearly says in Psalm 37:4 that if we "Take delight in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart".  

Dig a little deeper that doesn't say God always gives us the desires of our heart, but if we "Take Delight in Him"... align our heart with His... desire to see His will done. If we are able to do that then the desires of our heart will be the same as the desires of His heart! Instead of focusing on how we can achieve our dreams, we should focus on how we can change our dreams to match the dreams God has for us! 

I recently watched this video published by LCBC Church. (It's long, but I encourage you to watch it when you are done reading this.) It's a story of an incredible miracle in the life of a young family. It is truly amazing and even though their story may seem completely unrelated to what I'm talking about, the one thing they said stood out so significantly to me. While being faced with an incredibly difficult situation, they chose to stay faithful to God and pray for the UNEXPLAINABLE!!! That is so powerful! They chose not to wallow in their horrific circumstances, but to focus on God's limitless power! 

I was so inspired by this and I realized that my situations are soooo petty compared to what they were facing. And that I am so ungrateful for the countless blessing I have because I am so focused on the one that I don't have! I have decided to pray each and every day for God to do the UNEXPLAINABLE in my life! Regardless of what He decides to do with my life, whether I ever get that dream house or not, I want the circumstances of my life to be "Unexplainable" - that No One can take credit for it except God! 

So if I really believe God can do the Unexplainable, then I need to have faith that He will do amazing things in and through my life! I need to remember that truly thriving in this life means dedicating my life to Him! It has nothing to do with a house, a car, or anything else that society tries to tell us we should have. We need to spend each and every day trying to live as Christ did!

I won't always make the right choices, and I'm sure I still have a few pity parties to come! But I will never give up the fight, because Christ will NEVER give up on me!!! And His plans are so much more beautiful and amazing than we can ever comprehend!! So whatever your dream is, whatever causes you to want to throw a pity party for yourself, remember that God knows the desires of your heart! Trust in Him!!! When we align ourselves with Him, His desires become our desires and we begin to recognize the immeasurable amount of UNEXPLAINABLE blessings He has placed in front of us!!!

Waiting.....

Do you have that one burning desire in your heart? Or maybe it's more than one....

Society tells us that we "Make our own path" or to "Go get our dreams"! The problem with this is that when we take our future into our own hands we are putting control into our imperfect and clumsy hands. We try to take the control from the one who already has it figured out. He already has our future worked out exactly as He sees best! And when I look around at the beauty of nature and the wonderful things He is capable of, I want to get nothing short of His best!!!

I know sometimes (for me anyway) my dreams seem to be burning a whole in my heart and it's sooo painful to just wait on His timing! But we have to realize that He already has it figured out and He desires for me to have what is best for me!  His word tells us that He will not hold back and He will never give me less than His best for me!

It's so easy to miss the good things that are going on in our life right now when we are too concerned with getting to where our dream is! 

I am living this right now! We just opened a business and you would think that I would be living the dream. But this business was a result of God telling us to trust Him and follow blindly! It is not in any way my passion or my dream. Please don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for the opportunity God has given me to spread His word through our new business. But it is my husband's passion and he is so good at it.  Unfortunately, we still have to pay our bills, which means he has to keep his teaching job for now. So I am left to run the business most of the time. There are many aspects of the "business side" of it that I love. But there are so many areas of it that cause me to feel inadequate and unworthy of being there. It is a constant battle and when I focus on it gets me down or it can draw me so much closer to my Saviour, if I choose to let it!

God has given me a very different passion and for now, I don't know what He has planned.  He may bring it to be later in life, or He may slowly change my dreams to be in line with His. But one thing I do know is when I focus on all of the things I want to be doing, that aren't happening right now, I miss the blessings He has given me right now!

I pray He opens each of your eyes to see the great things He has placed in your life at the present time! Regardless of what your circumstances are, He has a reason for you to be exactly where you are! Trust Him and He will reveal His purpose and His ultimate plan in His timing!!!

Dirty Little Secrets

Why do we feel the need to keep certain parts of ourselves hidden? Why do we think that we won't be accepted if other people knew our true selves?

The truth every single person I have ever talked to is hiding something. Not a single person on this earth has it all together? We all struggle with certain things. 

Imagine with me for just a minute... What would this world look like if we would all just let our flaws hang out for the world to see? Think about it, if you and I would just be honest about what we are struggling with, how many people do we know that may have already been where we are? How many of our friends and family could help us deal with our problems? How many people could we help go through something we have already been through - if only we could be honest!! If only we could put our fears of rejection and shame aside!! What kind of world would it be?

When we keep our problems a secret from others, it's so easy to lose our perspective. They can seem so much bigger than they really are. And they can weigh us down and keep us from enjoying life.

Through this blog, I am committing to share my problems, concerns, and struggles. I am hoping you are willing to do the same. Life is much easier when we do it together! So let's commit to being there for each other and stop worrying about what others will think of us! Instead, let's focus on how we can help others who may be struggling with the same thing!!

Even if you only tell one person one little secret you've been keeping, it's a good place to start! Don't you think?

Lessening the "Frazzle" in my Life

I'm just like any other busy mom/wife who rushes home each day and struggles to find the time to cook, clean, do dishes, laundry, and still have quality time with my family! So in an effort to make life a little easier and free up some time through the week, I've decided to try my first attempt at "freezer cooking".

I've often thought about trying it, but we don't have an extra deep freeze at our house and since we don't have a garage or basement, I really don't have anywhere to put one. So I've always just decided it wasn't for me. But since life has blown up lately and gotten even busier than normal, I decided it's time to give it a try!  Due to my lack of space, I am only going to make enough meals for one week.

So early this morning, armed with my pen and notebook, I scoured Pinterest and came up with a few meals that I want to make this week.  It's actually a combination of some meals we already know we like and some new ones! (It's never good to try a whole week of new meals... I want to know I have at least one my family will like!)

It was harder than I expected to narrow down the list of what to make. Keeping my limited budget in mind, I wanted to find something that I could make without having to buy hundreds of dollars in ingredients.

Here is what I came up with for this week:

Black Bean Taco Soup

Baked Ziti

Spinach Lasagna Rolls (I'm going to adapt it and serve it with my favorite seasoned chicken breasts!)

Frozen Pizzas (But I'm going to use whole wheat flour instead).

Chicken and Rice (My own "at-home" hibachi....) **This is our family's favorite meal! We LOVE our local Hibachi restaurant, Aki. But since it's not friendly on the wallet or the waistline, I played around for a while and figured out the perfect alternative to make at home! I'll share the recipe later!!  I've never tried freezing it, but I think it will work just fine.

Breakfast Sandwiches (On English Muffins) - Because I leave the house by 4:30am and Jerry drags Miah out the door to take her to her Grandma's by 6:45am... so we ALWAYS have to do breakfast on the run!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

So Sunday afternoon, I will sit down and start my afternoon of baking! Here's to hoping Miah is in a mood to help!! :)

But today, after work, we are off to the local Amish-run discount grocery store to try and score some deals on some of the items on our list.  Then a quick trip to Food Lion to pick up the rest of the items on the list!!

I'll post on Monday with results of how it turned out!!! But for now, please share your experiences with freezer cooking!  What are some of your favorite recipes??

Digging out of your Mess

I saw something a few weeks ago (Yes, on Pinterest....) that has really helped bring me through some tough times in my life right now:

Think about it....

This applies to every single person's life at some point. We ALL have something that we have made a mess of in our lives. And sometimes it isn't even something we could control. Sometimes, the mess just finds us!

That's hard for me to grasp sometimes... I look around at the areas of my life that are a complete and utter mess and I feel like I need to find a reason. Something or someone to blame for it. Normally, I end up blaming myself.  

Most of my "Mess" right now is financial and it's so easy for me to beat myself up over what I should have done (or not done). But the truth is, while there were things I could have done better, I was truly listening and following God's will in many of my decisions.  Sometimes its hard to just accept that he wants me to be in this place at this time. I long for times when I don't have issues paying my bills and I can afford to do things that I so desperately want to do. For example, more than anything, I want to be able to afford to take my daughter on a Disney Cruise. And I can choose to focus on that and be upset that I'm not able to do that right now. Or I can choose to recognize that my Heavenly Father knows the desires of my heart and if it's possible for me to be in his will and still be able to do those things, he will allow them to happen... in His timing!!

All that I can do is wait and trust in my God!

It is not always easy, but I am realizing that regardless of how horrible my current "mess" is, it has strengthened my marriage tremendously (You can read more about that here), but even more importantly it has strengthened our faith in the Lord!  Both Jerry and I are able to see God move in ways we had only read about in stories.  

When we were first opening the gym a few months ago, I found this image below and I prayed that God would make it true in my life! And He has done exactly that!

If we didn't have times of trouble, would we even rely on God for anything? Or would we be comfortable where we are in life and be content just knowing He exists!?  God desires for us to know him intimately - He is after all....

our Creator 

our Savior

our Father

our Comforter

our Everything!!

It's time we put our trust in the one who knows us so intimately that he even knows the number of hairs on our head.  He is Infinitely Good!!

So next time you start to feel worn down, frustrated, or just tired of waiting for this mess to pass..... remember that God has you in this place and time for a reason and He has a plan to turn your mess into an amazing message if you just left him!!!