Sunday, September 22, 2013

A True Domestic Goddess

This morning I sat down and started to write a blog post about being a domestic goddess.... emphasizing how we all strive to be the perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, etc.  But I stopped home for just a brief second in between working the gym and going to show houses and as I walked in my door, I wanted to cry! It smelled like dog, there was visible dust on my dining room floor, the dirty dishes were overflowing my sink and beginning to take over the countertop, there were toys everywhere, and the blankets and pillows from last night's family movie night were still scattered across the living room. I had a sudden rush of emotions flash before me.  I felt like a hypocrite and a failure.  I grabbed what I needed off the cluttered kitchen counter, pushed the dog back with my leg so he wouldn't run out the door and rushed off to my next appointment!  A few hours later, I pulled in the driveway and took a deep breath... I was dreading walking back into my mess of a house! (When things are falling apart at home, it's so easy to find reasons to stay away and escape it.)  But I finally gathered myself together and walked toward the door. As I opened the door, I suddenly had tears fill my eyes!! There was my husband vacuuming the stairs.... the table and counter were both perfectly clean and free of clutter, the dishes had been done, the laundry had been put away, the toys were cleaned up, the dining room floor was free of dust and dog hair, and the aroma of my favorite candles filled the air!

I am not telling you this to make you wish your husband had done the same thing for you today.... in fact that is the opposite of what I am trying to do.

Let me take you back to this time last year (even 6 months ago....). My husband and I have nothing in common, really. We spent the last few years of our marriage wondering why we were even putting up with each other. We fought every day! We never did anything together.... just lived our separate lives and maybe tolerated each other a few minutes a day when we were in public.. to keep up appearances! I really think the only reason I wasn't ready to give up on things was because I would have been embarrassed of how it would make me look. I feel horrible even saying that because I look at my husband now and can't imagine that I ever felt that way!  He is the most incredible gift from God and I am so ashamed that I ever lost sight of that.

I wouldn't have said this at the time, but looking back I realize how selfish I was being. And I know he feels the same. We were each focused more on what we were getting from our marriage than what we were giving to our marriage.  It was so easy to see a post on facebook where someone mentioned something nice their spouse did for them, and wish my spouse did that for me! That would harbor feelings of envy and anger toward toward him and was killing my marriage!

Opening the gym forced us to take a step of faith. We each began to work on our relationship with God and very soon we realized how different our relationship with each other had become.  When we put our focus on the Lord, we began to see each other in a different way! I remembered all the reasons I fell in love with my husband! And as a result, we realized that weeks had gone by and we hadn't fought about a single thing! I now look forward to and treasure the time that I have with my husband!  The transformation that happened in just a few months is truly a miracle!

So when I say that I came home today to a clean house, it is no way to brag about him or make anyone envious. It is to make you realize that when God is the center of your marriage, you are able to be more attentive to each other than you ever thought possible. By staying in constant communication with our Lord and spending time together each day doing devotions, we realize just how blessed we truly are!

My prayer is that each and every person reading this is able to take something away to improve their marriage. I realized that I can strive all day to be a domestic goddess... but a true domestic goddess isn't about having the perfect clean house, home-cooked dinner, perfect children, or having completed all the perfect Pinterest crafts. It's about being a wife who prays for and with her husband and trusts in her Savior to provide all of her family's needs!

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